


Lean On Me

by Glass Soldiers (subtract)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crying, Discussion of Shiro's Backstory, Drama, Flashbacks, Gen, Homesickness, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Shiro is an Amazing Dad, Sickfic, but he's also still a teenager according to canon, everyone misses their families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subtract/pseuds/Glass%20Soldiers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Shiro let his team lean on him, and one time someone let him lean on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lance

Coran’s idea to simulate real-life combat situations went about as well as Shiro expected. Which is to say, it went wrong almost immediately. To start with, he dropped all five paladins off on what he swore was a completely abandoned planet called Rogunda, gave them all training weapons, and sent them off into the forest one by one to track each other down. Unfortunately, the planet was not quite as abandoned as Coran initially believed, which meant that twenty minutes into the training exercise, Lance had barged into a Rogundan settlement, training guns blazing, and interrupted their daily Tribute to the Suns.

Which was apparently punishable by being burned at the stake.

Shiro peeked around the thick green trunk of the tree he was currently hiding behind. The wood seemed to groan as his metal fingers pressed into the bark, and he snatched his hand away just in case Rogundan trees turned out to be sentient. It would really suck if his rescue attempt was thwarted by a plant before he could even try to explain to the lizard-like Rogundans that Lance was just an idiot who didn’t mean to ruin their ceremony.

He sighed and ground the palm of his flesh hand between his eyes to try and relieve the pressure that always built up around his sinuses ever since he had somehow received the scar across his nose. He knew that Lance wasn’t really an idiot, he was actually very intelligent - he just had no impulse control and enough excitable energy to power a spaceship. 

_And an amazing knack for getting into trouble,_ Shiro thought to himself. He pushed the foliage aside to see Lance, tied upside down to a large stick by his arms and legs, being carried through the settlement by two extremely irate looking Rogundans.

“Hey, hey, listen guys! Can we talk about this? I think we s-should talk about this!” Lance said in a high-pitched voice. Shiro could see him tugging at the ropes around his wrists. The Rogundans grunted at each other and shook the stick to make him stop.

More and more Rogundans were streaming out of their tents to come see the intruder be punished for his crimes against the tribe. Shiro concentrated on the crowd that was gathering around a pyre in the center of the settlement. When it looked like everyone was focused on the spectacle that was Lance McClain, he slipped out from behind the tree and ran across the open expanse between the trees and the rows of tents. He dove behind the leathery folds of one tent and took a few deep breaths as quietly as he could.

“Seriously, I d-didn’t know I was interrupting your super important ritual, I was a-actually looking for my friends, Coran said this planet was uninhabited, so-o I just ran in…”

Shiro silently prayed that Lance’s babbling was stalling the Rogundans, even a little bit while he tried to come up with a plan. If there was one thing that Lance could do, it was _talk._

When he heard the unmistakable sound of a torch blazing to life, Shiro’s heart seemed to lurch in his chest. Without waiting one more second to check for anyone who might see him, he stuck his head out from behind the tent to see what was going on.

“Oh, god, okay, okay, um, _I am Lance, the great god of the sun!_ You dishonor me by trying to kill me! I, uh, I will rain fire down upon you! I will send mighty warriors to destroy you for this insult!” Lance was strapped to a pole in the center of a pile of dry wood, while surrounded by furious aliens that were at least two feet shorter than Shiro and Lance. The Rogundans started chanting and swaying and raising their four-fingered hands to the sky, while one wearing a headdress made of vines carried a lit torch towards the pyre.

Lance’s eyes widened and he paled significantly when he saw the fire. “Wait, please, let me explain…” 

Shiro leapt out from behind the tent and landed right behind the crowd of Rogundans. “Hey!”

_“Shiro!”_ Lance squeaked. 

“I’m gonna suggest that you put that torch down,” Shiro said, glaring directly at the Rogundan wearing the headdress that was now holding the torch right above the fire. He slashed his right arm through the air to activate it.

The whirring noise and ultraviolet light coming from Shiro’s hand whipped the Rogundans into a panicked frenzy. The two hundred or so gathered around the pyre all scattered in different directions, hissing and screaming in their own language to try to get away from Shiro. Unfortunately, that included the Rogundan holding the torch, who dropped it onto the wood pile.

“Shit, fuck, Shiro, help!” Lance yelled. He started thrashing against the tough ropes binding him to the pole.

Swarms of frightened Rogundans careened haphazardly around the pyre. Shiro’s eyes widened in shock as the wood, which was soaked in some kind of accelerant, lit up almost instantly and started to travel up to where Lance was tied. He grit his teeth and forced his way through the crowd, even kicking aside some Rogundans who stood in his way.

Flames licked at his heels as he jumped up onto the back of the pyre. Lance was struggling forcefully against the ropes. “Hold still, Lance, I don’t want to cut you!” Shiro yelled. Lance immediately went still. Shiro sliced through the ropes with his mechanical hand and pulled Lance away from fire just as it reached the base of the pole.

Lance fell to the ground with a gasp. “Oh my god, oh my god…”

“C’mon, we have to get out of here, Lance.” Shiro grabbed his arm and pulled him up, wincing as he coughed from smoke inhalation.

“I can’t, I can’t, I twisted my ankle earlier, I can’t run…”

Shiro didn’t hesitate before he yanked Lance up onto his shoulder and ran away as fast as he could from the chaotic Rogundan settlement. Lance squawked in protest, but thankfully didn’t squirm around much as Shiro plunged into the forest and stumbled his way around the enormous green trees and the thorny vines hanging down from the branches. 

After a few minutes of sprinting away from the fire, Lance reached down and tapped Shiro’s arm to get his attention. “Hey, Shiro, I think we’re good. No one’s chasing us.”

Shiro glanced behind him but didn’t stop moving forward. “You sure?” he gasped. For such a skinny kid, Lance was still pretty tall and heavier than one would expect.

Lance put his head down and nodded against Shiro’s chest. “Yeah, I think they’re more worried about saving their tents from the _huge fucking fire_ they just set in the middle of town.”

Shiro snorted and slowed to a stop before helping Lance get off his shoulder. Lance gingerly tested his left ankle, which wobbled dangerously and almost gave out underneath him before Shiro grabbed him around the waist and slung his arm over his shoulder.

“Damn it…”

“It’s all right, you can lean on me on the way back to the ship.”

Lance shook his head. “I’m never listening to Coran again when he says that a planet is empty. This is the second time this has happened! I almost _died_ , Shiro. _Twice!_ ” His face paled a bit. “I almost died…” The realization of what had just happened seemed to be sinking in for the first time.

Shiro pulled Lance a little closer. “You almost did, but you didn’t, and that’s what’s important.”

Lance nodded. “It’s just that, um…” 

He fell uncharacteristically silent. Shiro decided to stay quiet and let Lance gather his thoughts as they hobbled along through the forest.

“Root,” Shiro pointed out to Lance before he tripped over it with his bad foot.

“Thanks.” Lance sighed. “I just… I just had the thought that, what if I died in space and my mom never found out what happened to me? She’s probably, uh, really worried because I usually call her at least once a week and it’s definitely been longer than that since we left Earth, so, um…”

“Lance.” Shiro stopped and tightened his grip on Lance’s waist to keep him from falling over. “If anything were to happen to you, I swear, I would find a way to tell your mom everything.”

Lance was staring directly into Shiro’s eyes now like his life depended on what he was saying.

“But,” Shiro continued before Lance could interrupt, “that’s not going to be a problem, because _nothing_ is going to happen to you. I’m not going to _let_ anything happen to you.”

Lance released a deep breath that he didn’t seem to realize he had been holding, like a huge weight had just been taken off his chest. “We, um, we need to get back to the ship before Allura kills Coran or something.”

Shiro nodded, and helped Lance get moving again. They had only taken a few more steps before Lance spoke again. “Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“...Thank you. And, uh, please don’t tell Keith? About what I said?”

Shiro smiled down at the young kid who missed his mom that he was helping stumble through an alien forest a billion miles away from his family. “Of course I won’t, Lance. Scout’s honor.”


	2. Pidge

“Thanks for dinner, Hunk,” Shiro said as he placed his plate on top of the pile stacked on the counter. “Keith, Lance, you’re on for dishes tonight.”

Lance and Keith groaned simultaneously. 

“Aww, c’mon Shiro, we did them like two days ago!” Lance whined. 

“And we’ve eaten on plates since then, right?” Shiro shook his head. “If you two worked together instead of complaining you’d be done a lot faster. Think of this as a… training exercise.”

“Why hasn’t Pidge fixed the dishwasher yet? It’s been like a week since it broke,” Keith muttered as he grabbed a plate out of Lance’s hand and started to run it under the sink. 

“Hey, I was going to wash that plate!” Lance said. He reached down into the sink and splashed soapy water all over Keith.

_“Seriously?!”_ Keith plunged his hands into the water and threw it at Lance, who spluttered in outrage as the water soaked his rolled-up coat sleeves.

Sometimes Shiro had to work very hard to remind himself that his younger partners were actually competent, dedicated paladins entrusted with keeping the universe safe from the Galra, so he couldn’t just abandon them on separate planets for a while. “Keith, Lance, if you spill any more water onto the floor, I swear I’ll make you run laps around the training deck for an hour.”

Lance froze before he tossed a sponge at Keith’s head, and Keith dropped the knife he had just grabbed back into the sink.

Shiro sighed and tried not to roll his eyes as the two boys tossed murderous glares at one another. “Hunk, do you know where Pidge is? She left really quickly. I want to go check up on her.”

Hunk plunked down a stack of dishes next to the pile of utensils and shrugged. “She mentioned something earlier about wanting to run diagnostics on Rover 2.0. She might be in the hangar doing that.”

“Thanks.” Shiro was halfway out the kitchen door when he turned around one more time. “Oh, and Hunk?”

“Yeah?”

“Try to keep them from killing each other? Please?”

Hunk snorted. “No one is killing anyone in _my_ kitchen.”

“I resent the idea that I need Hunk to babysit me!” Lance announced over his shoulder. 

Keith smacked him on the back of the hand with a wooden spoon.

“OW! You _son of a…”_

Shiro left Hunk to run damage control as Lance and Keith launched themselves at each other and made a hasty retreat through the halls of the castle. Allura and Coran had turned in early - apparently they were still adjusting to their new sleep cycles after spending ten thousand years in stasis - so nearly all the lights in the castle had been dimmed besides a strip of light that glowed softly along the edge of the walls. Shiro considered activating his prosthetic hand and using it to brighten the way forward a bit, but decided against it in case someone (Lance) saw him and tried to use him as a flashlight later. Instead, he placed his flesh hand on the wall to help him walk in a straight path in the dark.

As he made his way through the darkened hallways, he tried to suppress the faint sense of worry for Pidge growing in his chest. For the past few days, she had seemed a bit… off. She hadn’t made fun of Lance when he said something ridiculous, and she hadn’t rambled on about robotics to Hunk. During training, she got tired quickly and her lightning fast moves with her bayard had been surprisingly sloppy. When Keith called her out on it, she hardly raised a word in her own defense and simply slinked away to work on Rover 2.0 whenever Shiro didn’t need them all together. 

She also seemed to have lost her appetite. She usually picked at her food at least a bit, but tonight she had just stared at her plate for a few minutes before claiming she wasn’t hungry and leaving to wander around in the dark castle alone.

Shiro felt a little guilty that he hadn’t noticed something was wrong for a couple of days, which was why he was actively seeking Pidge out now. He didn’t want her to get so wrapped up in whatever was bothering her that she wouldn’t be able to find her way free from her own thoughts again.

The Green Lion’s hangar door was open when he arrived, but the lights were all off inside besides for the dim green emergency lights. Shiro could see Pidge’s face barely illuminated by the computer she was typing away on. She was sitting up on the Lion’s green paw and didn’t seem to notice that he was there.

He knocked on the hangar wall. The sound reverberated around the metal room, startling Pidge and nearly making her knock her own glasses off.

“Hey Pidge, what are you up to?” Shiro purposely kept the tone of his voice light as he walked over to her.

“Um, hi Shiro, I didn’t see you there…” Pidge mumbled as she readjusted her glasses. “I’m just, uh… working on some… stuff. Computer stuff.”

“Computer stuff. Gotcha. Can I see?” Shiro pulled himself up onto Green’s paw and sat down next to Pidge so both of their legs were dangling off the side.

Pidge slapped the computer shut before Shiro could do more than glance at the purple light of the screen and pulled it to her chest. “No, it’s not… um, it’s really complex coding and I don’t think you’d find it that, uh, interesting.”

“Oh. Okay then.” 

Keeping the computer clutched to her chest, Pidge shifted uncomfortably next to him. Shiro knew that she probably was desperately wishing he would go away so she could keep looking at… whatever it was she was doing, but he wasn’t giving up that easily. Clearly, something was bothering Pidge and he wasn’t going to go away until she let him help her.

“So you left dinner pretty quickly. Are you feeling okay?” Shiro asked conversationally, like he didn’t notice how awkwardly Pidge was acting.

“Yeah, I’m feeling fine, I just wasn’t feeling hungry,” she said quickly.

“Really? Because you’ve barely eaten anything for the past three days.”

Pidge averted her gaze when Shiro tried to make eye contact with her.

“Could the thing that’s definitely bothering you have something to do with whatever’s really on that computer?” 

Pidge stiffened, then heaved a huge sigh. “...Okay, Shiro, you win. I’ve just been a little, uh… sad recently, so eating hasn’t been as appealing as usual.”

Shiro scooted a bit closer to her. “I’m not trying to win anything, Pidge. I just want to know what’s wrong so that I can help you feel better.”

When Pidge didn’t say anything, he slowly reached over and touched the computer she was clinging to. She tightened her arms around it for a second, like she wanted to physically prevent Shiro from looking at it, before she sighed again and let her arms drop so Shiro could take it from her and open it up.

He was only half surprised to see Matt and Sam Holt’s faces staring up at him from the screen, along with the little bit of information Pidge had managed to salvage from the Galra ship that crashed on Arus. It was all written in the Galran language, but Pidge seemed to have translated some of it into English. Shiro scrolled down the screen a little to read her translated paragraphs. They barely contained any useful information at all, besides their prisoner numbers, their species, and their height and weights. There was nothing about their location or whether they were even dead or alive.

Shiro closed the computer screen and put it to the side. Next to him, Pidge had brought her legs up onto the Green’s paw and buried her face in her knees. She glanced up when she heard him put the computer down.

“Pidge…” Shiro started, but she interrupted him.

“They could be _dead_ Shiro. They could have _died_ and their bodies could be floating around some Galra spaceship a billion light years away and, and I can’t do a _single fucking thing_ to help them.” 

The green emergency lights were just bright enough that Shiro could make out how Pidge’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears. 

Pidge sniffed as she struggled to keep herself under control. “They c-could be fighting in some godawful gladiator ring, or, or working themselves to death in a camp somewhere… I just, I can’t d-deal with not _knowing anything…”_ Pidge stopped for air since she was practically hyperventilating at this point.

She was going to work herself into a panic attack at this rate. Shiro reached over and put both his hands, flesh and metal, on either side of her face and turned her head to force her to make eye contact with him. “Pidge, I know this is going to sound completely insane to you, but I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

Pidge, who was trembling slightly, managed a shaky nod.

“Your dad and Matt are still alive. They didn’t die on a Galra spaceship and they’re not _going_ to die. We are going to find them before that happens.” Shiro poured as much sincerity into his words as he possibly could, while maintaining completely steady eye contact with Pidge. “I know Matt and your dad. They’re both tough and smart. They’re resourceful and they’re survivors. I… can’t promise that they won’t be unharmed, but I am one hundred percent confident that we’ll be able to find them before it’s too late. Do you believe me?”

Pidge’s eyes widened. Then, she threw her arms around Shiro’s waist and burst into tears that were a long time coming. Shiro jumped slightly at her unexpected movement, before he carded one hand through her hair and rubbed her back and rubbed her back with the other as she sobbed into his chest. As she cried out of fear and worry for her family, Shiro hummed slightly while she shuddered underneath his hands.

When her breaths finally started to even out, Shiro realized she had cried herself to sleep. She must not have been sleeping this week either if she was that exhausted. With a sad smile, he bundled her up in his arms and slid off Green’s paw to the ground. He carried her all the way to her room, even if it was a little difficult navigating the castle in the dark. 

Pidge’s room was covered in wires and scraps of metal that must have belonged to a dozen different projects at least. Shiro shifted her sleeping form to one arm and pushed what looked to be the beginnings of Rover 2.0 off her bunk so he could settle her into bed without having to worry about her being uncomfortable surrounded by metal while she slept. When he pulled the blankets up underneath her chin, she shifted slightly but didn’t wake up.

He clicked off the light and smiled as she snuggled underneath the covers, then quietly slid the door shut so Pidge could finally get some sleep.


	3. Allura

A loud, high-pitched noise made Shiro glance up from the Altean novel he had been pouring over in bed. 

_Was that a… scream?_ he thought. He put the book down and listened intently to the now silent castle.

It was late at night, or possibly very early in the morning, he wasn’t sure which. He was sure that he was the only one still awake because he had personally made sure that everyone had gone to bed. So who or what could possibly be making that noise?

He heard the sound again.

_Definitely a scream. It’s Allura._

He swung his legs out of bed and ran out of his room, not even bothering to turn his light off or to shut the door. The castle’s lights had powered down for the night, but he had patrolled the paths between everyone’s private quarters so many times that he didn’t have any problems sprinting through the darkened hallways to reach Allura’s room.

Even though he was fairly sure that he knew what the situation was, he still ran at top speed through the castle. He was so focused that he almost collided head-on with Keith, who had just stepped out of his doorway and was rubbing his eyes sleepily. Shiro careened to a stop and barely avoided slamming Keith to the ground.

“Wha’s goin’ on, Shiro? Are we under attack?” Keith asked. The worry in his voice was obscured by a huge yawn.

“Everything’s okay, Keith, I’m just going to check on Allura,” Shiro said.

Keith nodded, exhaustion making him uncharacteristically agreeable. “M’kay.”

“Go back to bed, Keith.” Shiro physically turned Keith around and pushed him back inside his own room. He watched for a minute while Keith stumbled back onto his bunk and pulled the covers over his head, just to reassure himself that he really was going back to sleep, then quietly shut the door and jogged the remaining distance to Allura’s room.

Coran was outside Allura’s chambers, knocking gently on the door. “Allura? Are you awake? Are you all right in there?” His attempt at whispering was still almost as loud as his regular voice. 

“I’m fine, Coran. I told you, it was just a bad dream.” Shiro could hear how shaky Allura’s voice was even through the metal door.

“If it was just a bad dream, then why won’t you let us in?” Shiro asked to try and coax her out of her hiding place.

There was a beat of silence. “...Shiro?”

“At your service, Princess.”

For a moment, no one moved or said anything. Then, the door slid open to reveal Allura in her nightgown. Even in the darkness, Shiro could make out the drying tear tracks on Allura’s face and the way she was trying to control her trembling hands.

Coran opened his mouth, almost definitely to comment on how the princess was visibly distressed, but Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him before he said anything. “If it’s okay with you, Coran, I’d like to talk to Allura alone for a minute.”

This made Coran twist his face in annoyance. “Princess Allura - ”

“It’s all right, Coran. Thank you for coming to check on me. I would, um, prefer to speak to Shiro alone right now,” Allura said. She raised her chin and relaxed her shoulders, as though she was reminding Coran of her royal status. The effect was slightly ruined by her uncontrollable shaking, but it was effective enough that Coran relented.

“Good night, Coran,” Allura added as Coran sighed and returned to his own quarters. When he was out of sight, she closed her eyes and turned around, but not before Shiro registered the expression of pain that crossed her face. 

He followed Allura into her spacious room. There were very few personal items in it, besides for an ornate dresser and a large canopy bed. Allura hovered at the bedside, her fingers brushing the sheets like she wasn’t sure what to do.

Shiro rubbed the back of his neck while he tried to figure out what to say. It was clear that Allura had just suffered through a terrible nightmare. Her flawless skin was paler than usual and there was a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead. The way she held her arms close against her chest like she was trying to hug herself practically screamed “alone and scared”.

Well, he could do something about her shivering, at least. Shiro walked around to the other side of the canopy bed and laid down on top of the covers.

“What are you doing?” Allura asked, surprise coloring her tone of voice.

“It’s cold in here. Climb in.” He lifted up the blankets, gesturing for her to get in bed with him.

Allura hesitated, then gingerly laid down next to him, their faces only inches apart. Shiro could see the violet flecks in her wide blue eyes. The soft light above her bed made it bright enough that he could clearly see how her eyes were rimmed with red from crying to herself.

He stretched out his hand and placed it on top of hers. “Okay. Tell me what you were dreaming about that’s got you so upset.”

“It’s nothing, truly,” Allura whispered, but she couldn’t hide the tears that naturally brimmed up in her eyes when Shiro was this close.

He wiped away the tear before it could fall onto her sheets and settled his hand back on top of hers. The gesture only seemed to make her more upset because more tears welled up and she buried her face in her pillow to mask the sound of her sniffling.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Shiro said.

She kept her face down.

“Allura.”

Allura clenched the hand underneath Shiro’s into a fist like she was steeling her nerves, then flipped onto her back so she was staring at the ceiling. “...I miss my father. And my mother. And… and all my people.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I… well. I dreamed that I was a little girl again. I was on Altea with my family, and all my friends. We were having some sort of celebration, maybe it was a birthday? Or a wedding? Either way, I was _so happy_. There was music playing and the castle was decorated for a dance. I saw my father, and he scooped me up in his arms, he hugged me and kissed me and told me that he would always love me…”

Shiro stared at her while she gazed up at the canopy of her bed. She barely seemed to notice that he was there, she was so wrapped up in her story.

“And then, e-everything changed…” Her eyes became glassy and unfocused, and her voice trailed off into nothing. 

“What happened next, Allura?” Shiro finally said, to remind her that she wasn’t alone.

“Next… the lights of the party went away. Then the music, and the people. It was just me and my father standing in an endless black void. I asked him what was wrong, what was happening? He told me that it was too late, that the Galra were coming and that I had to escape. He pulled me off and forced me into that… that stasis pod. And then the void burst into flames, like a bomb went off all around us and my father just stood there, burning while I had to… had to _watch_ from inside that glass pod.” Tears were flowing freely down Allura’s cheeks, and she had to raise her hand to her mouth to stifle the sound of a sob. “It was horrible, Shiro, to have to watch my father die while I pounded on the glass, screaming for him.”

“I’m so sorry, Allura,” Shiro murmured. 

Allura turned on her side again so she could look at Shiro directly. “I miss him, Shiro. It feels like something’s been torn out from my heart, something that won’t ever heal. It feels like this longing, this ache for my father, will never go away.”

“The ache won’t ever go away, not completely, but it will get better,” Shiro said. 

“How do you know?” Allura’s eyes were wide as she stared into his.

He shifted closer to Allura so that their foreheads were practically touching. “When I was thirteen, my mother got into a car crash. It was late at night, the other driver was drunk, she was alone. The driver called 911 then sped off. When the paramedics found her, she lost so much blood that she had already fallen into a coma. She lived through the night, but there was too much internal damage, and she died the next morning.”

Allura was watching him with rapt attention. She snuggled a bit closer to Shiro. “What happened after that?”

“Well, my dad took it really hard. He got depressed, he started drinking every night so he didn’t have to face the reality that his wife was dead.”

“He drank?” Allura said worriedly. 

“He was never violent or anything,” Shiro added quickly. “He was a sad drunk, he would just sort of drape himself over the table and stare at nothing until he finally passed out every night. This went on for about a year before my grandparents finally intervened and took me and my brothers to live with them.”

“What was that like?” Allura asked.

“Hmm?”

“Losing your mother and father. How did you feel?”

Shiro squashed down his natural instinct to squirm and change the subject. Allura needed this. She was desperately hanging onto every word he said like they were lifelines for her. 

“I… I felt terrible. It was like someone had yanked the earth out from under my feet and I couldn’t get back up, and there wasn’t anyone there to help me. But, um… eventually, things started to get better. My younger brother Itsuki helped a lot. My older brother Ryou got really mad at my dad all the time, for good reason, but he ended up getting mad at the whole world. He ran away from my grandparent’s about a month after we moved in with them and never seemed to look back. So, uh, I knew Itsuki needed some sort of stability after all that. Pulling myself together was easier when I knew it would help someone else.”

Allura pulled Shiro’s hand closer to her heart. “But… it did get better?”

Shiro nodded. “It took a while, but time and just remembering all the happy memories I have of my mom made the pain fade.”

It seemed to be the right thing to say, because when Allura closed her eyes again, her expression was relieved instead of upset. “Shiro?” 

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mother.”

“I’m sorry about your father. And your entire species.”

“Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep again?” 

Shiro pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. Allura sighed softly and didn’t open her eyes. “Of course I will.”

He stayed all night, long after she had fallen asleep, to guard her against any more nightmares.


	4. Hunk

“Tomorrow morning, we’re going to be working on our team combat skills,” Shiro announced to the group lounging about in the castle’s living room. 

Lance groaned and threw himself onto the couch. “Do we seriously need to do any more team building exercises? We can already form Voltron like champs, so what else could there possibly be for us to work on?”

“Maybe Shiro actually wants us to work on improving ourselves, Lance,” Keith snarled from his spot on the floor where he was fiddling with the handle of his knife. “Not that you’d know much about that.”

Lance made a move like he was going to physically lunge at Keith. Shiro easily grabbed him by the shoulder and restrained him. “Cool it, hotshot. This is exactly the sort of problem I’m worried about. I know you two have your whole ‘rivalry’ going on, but you’re both going to have to work through that if we’re ever going to have a chance to stop Zarkon and save the universe.”

Pidge cleared her throat and raised her hand. “So if this is a Lance and Keith problem, me and Hunk can sleep in tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, sleeping in is good. I think I could sleep for a straight twenty four hours,” Hunk said. 

Shiro hadn’t expected it to be this difficult for his younger partners to grasp the concept of being a part of a team. He was pretty sure the Galaxy Garrison still reinforced the importance of cooperation in all of its classes. Maybe things had changed dramatically in the year between his graduation and the Kerberos mission?

“No, Pidge, Hunk, you will both definitely be training with us tomorrow morning. In fact… ” He glanced up at the clock mounted in the wall. “It’s 7:00 right now. I will meet you in exactly twelve hours on the training deck. I don’t care what you do from now until then, but when I walk in at 7:00 a.m. _sharp_ , I expect you all to be dressed in your uniforms, standing in a straight line, ready for my orders. Do you all understand?”

He took the collective groans from everyone as a yes.

The next morning, Shiro was out of bed by six and was listening behind his closed door for the sounds of the other paladins getting ready. When the clock in his room read 6:30 a.m. and he still hadn’t heard any indication that anyone was awake yet, he pinched the bridge of his nose and allowed himself one very exasperated sigh. It was definitely going to be a very long, tiring day.

When he walked onto the training deck at 7:00 sharp, he was only half surprised to see that literally none of the paladins had done what he had told them to do the night before.

Keith and Lance were both at least in uniform, but they were standing in the corner of the room arguing loudly over something Shiro literally could not care less about. Pidge had made it to the center of the training deck, but she was still dressed in her pajamas and was sitting cross legged on the floor with her eyes closed. 

“Paladins!” Shiro said, not quite loudly enough to be yelling but with enough force to let them know he meant business. “Explain why _none of you_ managed to follow my very simple instructions.”

There was a beat of silence before Keith and Lance both launched into separate explanations that both essentially blamed the other person for everything. Pidge nodded along with both of them.

Clearly, they were going to fight being productive… yet again. Shiro held up his hands to cut them off. “If you can’t come up with a legitimate reason, then please don’t bother.” The boys at least had the decency to look a little ashamed of themselves. Shiro looked at the three of them and frowned. “Where’s Hunk?”

“He’s not here,” Pidge mumbled from the floor.

_No shit,_ Shiro thought. He settled for pressing his lips together in a thin line instead of voicing his frustrations out loud. 

“Maybe he thought team bonding exercises are stupid and decided to sleep in,” Keith growled with a pointed glare at Lance. 

Since Keith wasn’t usually this contrary, Shiro choked down the urge to throttle him. “I’m going to go look for Hunk. When I come back, you will all be in formation ready to run suicides or I personally make sure that you will _all_ be enduring Coran’s cooking for the next month.” 

The kids all burst into alarmed chatter, so Shiro ducked out of the room before he got stuck listening to Keith and Lance go at each other again.

The door to Hunk’s quarters was shut when Shiro arrived. He couldn’t hear any movement coming from inside, so he almost left to search elsewhere, but something made him change his mind and he decided to check inside, just in case. He slid the door open and peeked into Hunk’s room.

Shiro almost tripped over the helmet laying the doorway. Apparently, Hunk had decided _not_ to put away his uniform the night before. Honestly, his room was a bit of a mess, like Pidge’s. There were half-finished engineering projects strewn around the floor and on his desk. A small piece of tech sparked in the corner, like Hunk had started working on it at night and then given up and gone to sleep without putting any of his equipment away.

The engineer himself was still snoring in bed. He was buried underneath two blankets and didn’t even twitch at the sound of Shiro kicking his helmet across the floor.

“Hunk? I guess you forgot to set your alarm, because it’s way past time to get up,” Shiro said.

The lump under the blankets mumbled incomprehensibly. 

Shiro shoved away some of Hunk’s projects. He knelt down by the bunk and shook Hunk’s back. “Hey, come on Hunk, time to get up.”

A groan, and Hunk turned onto his back.

“That’s it, buddy, I - woah.” 

Hunk looked _terrible_. His hair was soaked in sweat even though he was shivering slightly. He had taken on a slightly green tone and his eyes were bloodshot.

“Are you okay?” Shiro asked. He instinctively reached out and put his hand on Hunk’s forehead. Like he suspected, his temperature was way higher than it should be.

Hunk sat up in bed and brushed Shiro’s hand away. “Urg…” he grumbled. “M’not feelin’ so good.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Shiro’s eyes widened when Hunk swung his legs out of bed. “Woah, hey there big guy. Where do you think you’re going?”

“The uh, the training thingy? M’sorry I’m late…”

Hunk was so clearly sick and unfit to be doing _any_ physical activity that Shiro was shocked enough to let him tumble out of bed, grab his helmet, and stagger into the hallway before he could recollect himself and pull Hunk back by the arm. “Yeah, no. You’re sick, Hunk. You’re not going to any training or doing anything today, you’re going back to bed for the rest of the day, at least.”

“I’m fine!” Hunk pushed Shiro away. The motion made his face turn green and his belly gurgled in warning. Before either of them could say anything, he doubled over and vomited the contents of his stomach all over Shiro.

“Oh noo…” Hunk reached out and tried to brush some of the puke off Shiro’s chest. “Shiro, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

Shiro looked down at the orange bile sprayed across his uniform and winced. It was going to take him a very long time to clean it all out of the fabric and wipe down the armor, but Hunk looked so miserable that he couldn’t be mad. In fact, looking at his face that was still pale and had a little vomit dribbling out of his mouth made Shiro’s protective instincts kick in full force.

“Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

“But what about…”

“Doesn’t matter, taking care of you right now is way more important.” 

Shiro slung Hunk’s arm over his shoulders, doing his best to keep Hunk’s arm out of the vomit splattered on his uniform. They took a wobbly path to the bathroom in the middle of the hallway. When Shiro released Hunk to open the door, he ran inside and promptly threw up again, but into the toilet this time. The hacking noises he was making were terrible to listen to. Shiro knelt down beside him and helped him keep his hair out of the way while he filled the toilet bowl with bile.

“Ugh, god…” Hunk moaned and curled himself around the toilet.

It made Shiro’s chest tighten to see how terribly Hunk was feeling. The team was used to seeing him throw up after a rocky flight or after a particularly strenuous workout, but this was something completely different. Hunk was a solid presence on the team and he could always be counted on to try and lift his teammate’s spirits when they were feeling down.

He could hardly believe Hunk had anything left in his stomach as he pitched forward and threw up again. Shiro rubbed his back in what he hoped was a soothing manner as Hunk shuddered underneath him. It sounded like he was practically hacking up his guts.

After one last choking noise, Hunk spit into the bowl then sat back against the wall. 

“Do you think you’re finished?” Shiro asked. Hunk squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, so Shiro flushed the toilet and settled back so that Hunk could lean his feverish head against his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Hunk said quietly.

“For what? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“No, no… I ruined your training exercise. An’ I know… th’ team’s really important to you.”

Shiro sighed. “Hunk. Seriously. That is a not a problem at all. You are a part of the team, and I care about making sure you’re okay. And when you’re feeling really _not_ okay, the most important thing I can do is help you feel better.”

Hunk looked up at him from his position on his shoulder. “Really?”

“Really. And trust me, I can definitely stand to take a break from listening to Keith and Lance argue.”

Hunk snorted and smiled. “Yeah, I guess that’s fair. So really, you should be thanking me for throwing up on you right now.”

Shiro laughed and adjusted his shoulder so Hunk would be more comfortable leaning against him. “You’re right, thanks so much, Hunk. You really are a godsend, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You feeling up to walking back to your room?”

Hunk, whose color had improved a little bit after finally throwing up, nodded and yawned. Vomiting that much seemed to have taken a lot of energy out of him. Shiro hauled him to his feet and helped direct him back to his room. 

“I’ll get Pidge to make you some soup and send Keith and Lance to go find some blankets for you, okay?” Shiro said quietly once Hunk was settled back into bed.

“Ha, you might get your team bonding exercise after all,” Hunk said and buried his face into the pillow Shiro had fluffed up for him.

“Yeah, I guess I will. Get feeling better, all right Hunk? You’re the glue holding us together, and we miss you when you’re not there.” 

Hunk didn’t answer. He had already fallen asleep. Shiro smiled, and left to go find something to clean himself up.


	5. Keith

Shiro panted and coughed as he struggled to muscle his way through the wreckage he was crawling over. There was dust and smoke everywhere, from the crumbling rocks and the mangled remains of the Galra drones that had just crashed onto the planet’s surface. It was nearly impossible to see through, even as he held his glowing arm high to cut through the darkness.

“Keith!” he yelled, hoping against all reason that Keith was fine after the insanely risky move he had pulled. “Where are you?”

It was possible that he had just had the wind knocked out of him. Maybe that was why he wasn’t responding, no matter how loudly Shiro called his name. Shiro refused to consider the possibility that Keith hadn’t survived jumping onto the drone midair, stabbing his bayard into its engine, and forcing it to collide with another drone so that they all smashed into the cliff face and fell out of the sky together.

When he put it that way, it made the speck of hope still firmly lodged in Shiro’s chest shrink even smaller. He grit his teeth together and forced himself to keep looking. He wouldn’t give up hope until he had a physical body to prove that Keith was…that he… 

A small clattering noise to his right made him whirl around instantly and clammer over the twisted metal and cracked rocks he was searching around. “Keith! Is that you?”

Shiro was on top of a mound of rocks. Beneath him, peeking out from the severed wing of one of the Galra drones, was a black gloved hand. The wing had landed at an angle, propped up against some of the fallen rocks, so Shiro couldn’t see the rest of the body hidden underneath it. 

Everything in his peripheral vision seemed to blur and fade away, while the image of the wreckage sharpened to become impossibly detailed. He was acutely aware of the blue and white sparks that sprayed down when he bumped against the drone’s wing. He could make out the individual streaks of ash along the gunmetal gray wing where it had been shot before crashing into the side of the mountain, as well as the shockingly red droplets glittering like rubies that pooled in the dirt underneath the torn black glove. 

“Come on, Keith, come on,” he panted as he grasped the hot edge of the wing. His heartbeat hammered incredibly loudly in his ears. The machinery creaked ominously when he heaved it up and tried to pull it away from the body trapped underneath it.

The sound he had heard could have come from debris snapping away from the ruined machine. He forced himself not to even think about it while he struggled to shift the heavy wing. With a shout he finally managed to pry it up and shove it away to reveal the still form it had pinned to the ground.

“Oh, god…”

Keith lay face down on the ground, one arm underneath his chest and the other stretched out in front of him. His legs were tangled up behind him, with one of his ankles resting on the other at an unnatural angle. He had a deep laceration through the back of his outstretched hand and a shard of metal that must have broken off of the drone was embedded in the back of his right shoulder where his armor didn’t cover the joint.

Shiro fell to his knees beside him, mindless of the blood soaking into his pants. He couldn’t stop his hand from trembling as he placed it on Keith’s back, or his involuntary gasp of relief when he felt Keith’s lungs expanding and relaxing underneath his palm.

“You’re alive…” he murmured. He gave himself one second to close his eyes and take what felt like the first deep breath he’d had since the crash. His relief at finding Keith alive was matched only by another wave of concern that, while Keith was alive for now, he might not be if he didn’t get him back to the castle and the healing pods as soon as possible.

Everything Shiro had ever learned about first aid came rushing to the front of his mind. The shrapnel lodged in Keith’s back was priority number one. He didn’t have any bandages on him, and the skin-tight uniform he was wearing was locked underneath his white armor. Keith’s clothes, however, were slashed and torn already. Grimacing, he picked up Keith’s limp hand and tore fabric away from the already ruined glove and packed it around the metal stuck in Keith’s shoulder. 

As Shiro pushed down on the fabric, Keith finally began to stir and shift uncomfortably underneath Shiro’s hands.

“Keith? You with me, buddy?” Shiro asked, doing his best to keep any hint of worry out of his voice so Keith wouldn’t wake up and start panicking at the sight of his own blood all over the ground.

Keith blinked sluggishly and dragged his head across the dirt in a poor imitation of a nod. “Ow,” he mumbled. 

Shiro nodded sympathetically. “‘Ow’ sounds about right.” He tore another strip away from the trashed glove. Keith frowned at him. 

“What’re you doin’...?”

“Aside from wondering how I’m going to get you back to the castle, I’m keeping your blood inside you.” Shiro pressed the strip of fabric into Keith’s back, making him yelp and try to twist away from the source of his pain. 

“Ah, _fuck!_ Jesus, Shiro.” 

“Sorry.”

Keith clenched his lacerated hand into a fist before quickly releasing it. He stared at the cut on the back of his hand like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Blood started to run down his ungloved wrist as he tilted it back and forth.

Shiro ripped off one more long strip of material and tied it around Keith’s shoulder to hold his makeshift bandage in place, which made Keith hiss and curse at him again. “Okay, that’s going to have to do for now.” He leaned back on his knees to observe his handiwork. His first aid skills could probably be deemed shoddy at best, but at least the packed material looked like it would stay in place for a little while. 

That was probably for the best, because Keith was not looking so good. The little color left in his face when Shiro had first pulled the drone wing off of him had faded until he was as white as the large moon hanging in the sky above them. His eyelids were drifting at half mast and kept slipping closed for a few seconds at a time. Shiro swallowed the little sounds of worry that kept bubbling up in his throat. He knew that Keith could handle himself and that he had been hurt before and come through just fine, but that didn’t mean he would always be so lucky. All it took was one bad day, and he could lose him forever. If there was one thing Shiro wouldn’t be able to stand, it would be letting one of the younger paladins die on his watch. 

“We’ve got to get you to those healing pods, Keith,” Shiro said quietly. “And I’m sorry, but I think this is gonna hurt a bit.” Keith mumbled something unintelligible in response and closed his eyes. This time, they didn’t open again. Shiro steeled himself against the alarms that clanged in his head, then grabbed Keith’s shoulder and hip to roll him onto his side so he could lift him up bridal style. He really wanted to just throw Keith over his shoulder and run off with him, but that position would almost definitely obstruct his breathing while he was passed out.

Keith gasped and his eyelids fluttered for a moment before shutting again. Shiro winced at the thought that he was causing him more pain, but unfortunately he knew that what he was doing was one hundred percent necessary if Keith was going to survive the night. Already, more blood was soaking through the bandages he had plastered against Keith’s shoulder. If he didn’t hurry, he could bleed out right there in the dust of the alien planet.

He could hear static crackling in his helmet that barely resolved itself into Allura’s voice. _“Shiro? Are you there? Did you find Keith?”_

Shiro adjusted Keith’s weight in his arms so that he was putting more pressure on his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve got Keith, but he’s in bad shape. I’m taking him back to the Black Lion. Get the ship as close to those coordinates as possible.”

_“Copy that, Shiro. We’ll be there in just a tick.”_

“Allura! He’s going to need to go into a healing pod, stat. Tell Coran to get it set up right now.”

The voice in the speaker was filled with badly hidden worry. _“...Understood. If it’s that dire, then you must hurry. We’ll come as quickly as possible.”_

Keith shifted and twitched as his cut hand brushed against Shiro’s chest. Shiro did not like the sheen of sweat that stood out on his forehead or the way Keith’s face twisted into a grimace. He pulled Keith a little closer and set off into the dark towards his lion.

The walk could not have taken more than fifteen minutes, but when Shiro finally staggered into view of the Black Lion, his whole body was trembling from the exertion of carrying Keith’s dead weight in such an awkward position. Fortunately, Black seemed to understand the situation as soon as he approached because the entrance ramp dropped down without any of his instructions. He walked inside, laid Keith down in the cockpit, and settled into the pilot’s chair so he could get them off the planet as soon as possible.

Allura had been true to her word, and the castle floated into view as soon as the Black Lion cleared the top layer of the planet’s atmosphere. Shiro docked in Black’s hangar and scooped Keith’s unmoving form back into his arms so he could rush him to the medical bay.

Along the way, Keith blinked his eyes open for a few seconds. 

“Hey, look who it is,” Shiro said, doing his best to smile down at him. 

Keith looked around in confusion while he tried to register where he was. “Sorry,” he slurred. 

If he hadn’t been in such a hurry, Shiro would have stopped out of shock. “Huh?”

“Was… impulsive. Could’a killed myself.” He stopped to bite back a groan of pain. 

“Keith, I appreciate that, but really, all I care about right now is getting you to that healing pod.”

“You’re not mad?”

They were finally at the med bay, where the team was waiting, terrified looks plastered on their faces at the sight of the blood on Shiro’s uniform and Keith’s unmoving body. They rushed forward, spitting out questions about what they could do, desperate to help in some way. Shiro ignored them and settled Keith onto a gurney so they could get him set up in a pod. He smiled sadly and brushed Keith’s hair out of his eyes.

“Keith, I could never be mad at you for trying so hard to do what’s right.”

Keith’s lips twitched upwards and he closed his eyes one more time. Shiro stepped aside with an exhale of relief and let the team rush forward so Keith could finally get the help he needed.


	6. Shiro

It was around three o’clock in the morning when Shiro burst out of bed, clapping his flesh hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming and waking up the entire castle. Sweat was pouring down his forehead and his stomach was twisted into such tight knots that for a minute he was afraid he was going to throw up right there in his bunk.

He was practically hyperventilating as he pushed himself out of bed. His legs got tangled up in the sheets and he smashed into the floor. For a moment, he didn’t move from where he had fallen in a trembling, crumpled heap. Impact with the ground sent fiery lines of pain racing through the overloaded synthetic nerves of his Galra arm.

_He was clutching his sword in the arena, the cacophony of the audience thundering around him, above him, behind him. Far away, on the other side of the ring, his opponent laughed and snarled and raised his bloody claws into the air to make the Galra in the stands holler and scream for the violence to begin... ___

__Shiro yanked his head up off the cool floor and gasped as the scar tissue around what remained of his right bicep burned fiercely. The more intense his nightmares were, the stronger his arm seemed to ache._ _

__His shivering legs barely took his weight as he forced himself to his feet. He couldn’t stay in this room, even the sight of his twisted sheets out of the corner of his eye made the images from his nightmares swim back into his mind._ _

___The creature he was facing was covered in patches of hard green scales that gleamed like emeralds underneath the bright lights of the colosseum. His yellow eyes and forked tongue reminded Shiro vaguely of a lizard back from earth, although he had never seen a lizard with massive clawed fingers and three rows of teeth stained red from the guts of the last gladiator it had killed._ _ _

__Shiro ground his hands into his eyes, trying to force the images out of his mind, as he stumbled out of his room and down the dark hallways of the castle. He didn’t have any destination in mind. He just knew that he had to leave, that he had to escape before something terrible could happen._ _

__The white hot pain pierced his arm again and it was all Shiro could do not to cry out as it pounded up and down, from his shoulder to his fingertips. Behind him, everyone else in the castle was still sleeping soundly. He hoped his footsteps had been quiet enough not to disturb anyone else._ _

__He was almost at the end of the hallway when a bolt of lightning crackled through his arm with enough intensity to bring him to his knees. He just had to ride it out, he knew this would all be over in a minute. He curled into a ball, thudding his back against the wall, and clutching his arm to his chest as if that would make the pain go away. He couldn’t help the choked noise that escaped from his throat as another wave of pain crested and broke over his body._ _

__Dimly, he remembered that the other paladins were still nearby and that he had to get out of sight. Panting, he forced himself to his feet and staggered the rest of the way down the hallway and down the flight of stairs that led to the training deck._ _

__Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice scoffed that he was being ridiculous, that he was overreacting to what really amounted to bad dreams. The pain in his arm was almost certainly psychosomatic. He had to pull himself together, if not for himself, then for the younger paladins at least. Their leader needed to be someone fearless, someone who didn’t startle at shadows in the night. The least he could do was keep up the appearance of being strong._ _

__The automatic door of the training deck slid open when its sensors detected Shiro’s presence. He heaved a sigh of relief when the lights came on and there was no one inside. If someone saw him, he was relatively certain that the mortification would kill him._ _

__Now that he wasn’t in his room, it wasn’t dark, and the pain in his arm had faded to a dull throb, he faltered on what he was actually here to do. His right arm was useless, so he couldn’t just do push ups or lift weights until morning. His eyes fell on the rack of weapons he sometimes saw Keith training with. Maybe he would give some one-armed combat training a shot._ _

__“Start training level three,” Shiro said into the empty air, wincing when his voice cracked on the last word._ _

__“Beginning training sequence.” The disembodied voice coming from god knew where sent shivers down Shiro’s spine, though he didn’t understand why._ _

__The ceiling opened up and the Gladiator dropped down, one hand holding a sword and the other held close to its body in a defensive position._ _

__Shiro’s Galra arm dangled uselessly by his side, so he grabbed a training sword from the rack and braced himself as the Gladiator lunged forward._ _

__For the first few minutes, Shiro fell into natural defensive patterns to fend off the relentless attacks. Even though his right hand was his dominant, he had spent enough time practicing with both arms that it hardly made a difference to his fighting style._ _

__Or, maybe practicing wasn’t the right word for why he was comfortable fighting left-handed. Just as he fended off a jab from the Gladiator’s sword, everything in his line of vision disappeared and he was staring across the sandy floor of the arena._ _

___The alien shrieked and spit as he slashed his razor-sharp claws through the air. Shiro had to drop to the ground to avoid being decapitated. He came down hard on his right shoulder, which made a horrible popping noise as he rolled to avoid the claws tearing at him. Switching his grip on the sword from his right hand to his left, Shiro plunged the sword upwards into his opponent’s knee. It screamed and twisted away, giving Shiro time to stumble back to his feet._ _ _

__The scene faded as the Gladiator brought its weapon down hard into Shiro’s gut and sent him skidding across the hard floor._ _

__If his arm had been causing him problems before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. Shiro would have shouted in pain if the blow to his stomach hadn’t completely taken his breath away. As it was, he barely managed to wheeze out “end training sequence” before the Gladiator slammed its weapon into his chest._ _

__The training simulation dissolved in the air. Shiro rolled onto his back, chest heaving as he fought to take a breath against the pain in his arm and his gut. When air ripped back into his lungs, he gasped and drank in as much as he could. It took him a few minutes to get enough air to make the black stars crowding in his periphery fade away. He closed his eyes and tried to relax enough to push through the aching pain demanding attention all over his body so he could get to his feet and make his way into the showers._ _

__The light in the bathroom was softer than on the training deck, which Shiro was grateful for. It meant that, when he pulled his shirt off to check on the dark bruise he could feel blossoming underneath his ribs, the rest of his old injuries weren’t thrown into such sharp relief._ _

__Shiro glanced into the mirror on the wall that reflected back his bare chest and hissed involuntarily. Besides the red mark he could feel developing into a large bruise, he could see white scars crisscrossing everywhere across his body. Burns in the shape of Galra numbers branded across his collarbones. Jaw marks on his hip like something had bitten and shaken him like a dead animal. Claw marks across his shoulder and his side as if something had climbed up his back and tried to rip him in half. The worst, though, was the straight vertical line running from his breastbone to his navel, like he had been dissected._ _

__He was so consumed in staring at his horrific reflection that he didn’t hear the bathroom door open and slide shut behind him._ _

__“Shiro?”_ _

__Shiro whirled around, his face draining of all color when he realized someone had caught him with his shirt off. He couldn’t even bring himself to wonder what Coran was doing awake and on the training deck around the instant panic that clouded his head._ _

__Distantly he was aware of his breathing hitching and becoming abnormally rapid as Coran grabbed him by the wrists and led him to the wall so he could slide down it and curl up as far away from Coran’s eyes as possible._ _

__Something in his head seemed to disconnect. His mind seemed to slip away and go to some dark, faraway place that felt strangely familiar while his body stayed behind. He liked it better in the dark place, away from peering eyes and sharp instruments poking into his arms and legs, away from the sound of a whirring drill and the sensation of a hand digging around inside him._ _

__What felt like a long, long time later, Shiro felt like he was waking up piece by piece. First he was aware that he had collapsed on his side, based on the feeling of cold, cracked tile against his cheek. Then he realized that someone’s hand was on his face, stroking his cheekbone in circular movements. The next thing to return was his hearing. A voice floated above him, making gentle shushing noises, and he couldn’t remember why that was vaguely surprising._ _

__He blinked, and his vision came back. Coran’s orange mustache was the first thing he recognized before the rest of his face swam into view, and only the bizarreness of it all helped him stave off another tidal wave of panic._ _

__“Coran? Wha’ are you…?” He tried to finish the question, but Coran had already grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up into a sitting position. The pressure against his Galra arm made him groan, which he quickly tried to bite back._ _

__“Don’t do that,” Coran said. His voice was gentler than Shiro had ever heard it._ _

__“Do what?” he croaked._ _

__“Pretend like it doesn’t hurt.”_ _

__Shiro didn’t know why his eyes started to water. “It… it doesn’t. I’m fine.” He finally noticed that Coran was staring at his marked up torso. A new burst of terror erupted in his chest. He grabbed Coran by the shoulders and shook him. “You can’t tell. You can’t.”_ _

__Coran raised an eyebrow. “...I can’t tell who?”_ _

__“The others. They can’t know. You have to promise me you won’t tell!” Shiro’s voice pitched higher and his breathing started to pick up again._ _

__Shiro couldn’t decipher the sad look that flashed across Coran’s face. “All right. I won’t tell the other earthlings.”_ _

__A noise like a choked sob of relief escaped from Shiro’s throat. He dropped his hands from Coran’s shoulders and leaned his head back against the bathroom wall with his eyes closed. He could hear Coran shifting to come sit alongside him, but he didn’t react until he felt a hand touch his knee._ _

__“So how old are you, really?” Coran asked._ _

__Shiro didn’t open his eyes. “I’m not sure. Never found out exactly how long I was gone.”_ _

__There was a beat of silence. Shiro lifted his eyelids half way and stared at Coran, who was sitting cross legged against the wall next to him. “Why?”_ _

__“Well, maybe you could let me be the adult for a little while so someone can take care of you and tell you it’ll be all right for a change.”_ _

__Shiro was so stunned he felt like he had been stabbed through the heart. All the air in the room seemed to rush out the door and he couldn’t breathe, once again. When was the last time someone had told him that? The realization of how desperately he needed comfort shook him like he had been struck by lightning. His hands shook and he could feel all the blood rushing out of his face while his eyes filled up with unshed tears._ _

__Coran pulled him into a hug and whispered, “Everything’s going to be okay.”_ _

__That was all it took for his facade to crack. Shiro practically collapsed into Coran’s arms and finally, finally let himself cry._ _

**Author's Note:**

> This is being crossposted at glass-soldiers.tumblr.com!
> 
> I'll be writing a sequel/follow up to this in the next couple of days, so keep your eyes open for that. Thank you so much for reading!


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